Hey all,
So I know it's been a good week without an update but it's been one of my busiest weeks in a long time!! This last weekend me and Ali went home to Indiana for just a couple of days. This weekend was the blueberry festival in Plymouth, one of my favorite festivals EVER. Believe it or not I didn't take any pictures though! I tried to take a few at one point but my camera wasn't cooperating and the pictures were horrible.
When I can back to NY I flew Tuesday morning at 6am and got to work at 10....and worked the whole day! Ali actually stayed in Indiana for a few extra days and I just picked him up from the airport last night.
Thank goodness today is Friday too because although this week was only 4 days it was absolute madness and needed to end. Every day something chaotic had to happen and today topped it all off for me. This is the first day I was actually in a bad mood while at work. From the minutes I got to work til the minute I left I was being bombarded with things to do and many of them were unplanned.
Due to the amount of business of this week there's wayyyy to much that happened to share it all...so my goal is to get back to doing it practically every day to keep you all posted. Right now I'm actually getting sick due to streep throat going through my facility :( Towards the end of my day my throat really started to hurt and it's only gotten worse...so I'm praying that being home this weekend and out of the facility away from the sickness might help me fight it off and it won't get full blown!! So I'm actually heading to bed all...I don't have any energy :(
Love
Sar
Friday, September 5, 2008
Thursday, August 28, 2008
Whew...
Hey Everybody,
So I know I've been slow posting this week but the last two days have been crazy!!
Tuesday was a much slower day at work than Monday..thanks goodness! BUT yesterday and today have been complete madness.
Yesterday I worked a full 8 hr day and then had my first night of classes from 4:40-10:00! What a day!! It was nice to get back to classes though because honestly it's the most stimulating thing for me. I love my classes and I love that they're all about what I'm interested. My first class from 4:40-6:40 is cultural studies...it's going to be difficult because my professor sometimes talks over our heads but she's very nice and an interesting person. After culture studies I have stats until 10:00. I'm not too nervous about this class. I have a young male professor that is very laid back and has the attitude of "come to class, do your work, and I'll do my best to give you a good grade".
Today I did the same routine. I worked all day until 6:30 and went to class from 7-9. This class is social theory. This is the class I'm most worried about. I had this professor over the summer and his teaching style is not my preferred. He tends to go on tangents and is VERY opinionated! Now don't get me wrong, a lot of sociologists are but man...I can't even explain his level of opinionatedness! HA!
Work has been going well. I'm overwhelmed at times but I'm still liking my job. I haven't had any clients completely chew me out which I was warned would happen...I think this is because I'm not nearly as blunt or unfriendly as some. I meet with I think a totally of 10 clients today and I only have 20 active clients. I technically have 28 clients but I don't work with some of them because of their status in the shelter right now. I will tell you one frustrating thing about my job is the parenting!!! AHHH I don't have kids so I won't pretend to know anything about parenting but man...I gotta think I know more than some of these people. I had one family in my office today and one of the kids, Jameer who's 3, was being horrible. I believe he has some kind of developmental delayed because he doesn't talk much and doesn't ask 3 but he is a TERROR! He was tearing things off my walls, throwing things, having tantrums...the whole nine yards! The worst part is it's not like the mom (well technically she's grandma) wasn't trying to stop it, she just wasn't effective. At one point I just stared at the boy with the most stern face I could to try to scare him into behaving...it had little effect people! A lot of my parents don't know how to be parents though and it's sad...I can see already these children will have problems in life...it's inevitable with their upbringing....
Sorry I don't think I can write much more of an update! I'm so tired and I have to get up at 5:30 tomorrow! I have to get to work early because I'm leaving tomorrow to fly HOME!!!
I'm so excited and I know I'll have tons of pictures and things to say after this weekend!!
Love
Sar
So I know I've been slow posting this week but the last two days have been crazy!!
Tuesday was a much slower day at work than Monday..thanks goodness! BUT yesterday and today have been complete madness.
Yesterday I worked a full 8 hr day and then had my first night of classes from 4:40-10:00! What a day!! It was nice to get back to classes though because honestly it's the most stimulating thing for me. I love my classes and I love that they're all about what I'm interested. My first class from 4:40-6:40 is cultural studies...it's going to be difficult because my professor sometimes talks over our heads but she's very nice and an interesting person. After culture studies I have stats until 10:00. I'm not too nervous about this class. I have a young male professor that is very laid back and has the attitude of "come to class, do your work, and I'll do my best to give you a good grade".
Today I did the same routine. I worked all day until 6:30 and went to class from 7-9. This class is social theory. This is the class I'm most worried about. I had this professor over the summer and his teaching style is not my preferred. He tends to go on tangents and is VERY opinionated! Now don't get me wrong, a lot of sociologists are but man...I can't even explain his level of opinionatedness! HA!
Work has been going well. I'm overwhelmed at times but I'm still liking my job. I haven't had any clients completely chew me out which I was warned would happen...I think this is because I'm not nearly as blunt or unfriendly as some. I meet with I think a totally of 10 clients today and I only have 20 active clients. I technically have 28 clients but I don't work with some of them because of their status in the shelter right now. I will tell you one frustrating thing about my job is the parenting!!! AHHH I don't have kids so I won't pretend to know anything about parenting but man...I gotta think I know more than some of these people. I had one family in my office today and one of the kids, Jameer who's 3, was being horrible. I believe he has some kind of developmental delayed because he doesn't talk much and doesn't ask 3 but he is a TERROR! He was tearing things off my walls, throwing things, having tantrums...the whole nine yards! The worst part is it's not like the mom (well technically she's grandma) wasn't trying to stop it, she just wasn't effective. At one point I just stared at the boy with the most stern face I could to try to scare him into behaving...it had little effect people! A lot of my parents don't know how to be parents though and it's sad...I can see already these children will have problems in life...it's inevitable with their upbringing....
Sorry I don't think I can write much more of an update! I'm so tired and I have to get up at 5:30 tomorrow! I have to get to work early because I'm leaving tomorrow to fly HOME!!!
I'm so excited and I know I'll have tons of pictures and things to say after this weekend!!
Love
Sar
Monday, August 25, 2008
What a Day....
Well today was my first official day of meeting with clients. I thought that my two weeks of training had me feeling pretty good about meeting with clients...ya totally not true. I was so overwhelmed today it wasn't even funny. I only meet with a handful of clients and my head was spinning. Partially because I have to remember so many things for just one client!! I don't even know how to begin to explain why it is so overwhelming.
The first client that I saw is pregnant and also has a 3yr old son. When she has her second baby she has no where for her 3yr old to stay...so her only option is Respite Care. I still know very little about this organization but in a nutshell they take care of people for short periods of time when there's no one else too. SO I had to assist her as she contacted Respite and discussed all the options with her. I then had to do my first service plan with her and of course I couldn't remember how to do it on the computer. I then just did it on paper and pretended my computer wasn't working so that she would know that I just didn't know what I was doing.
I'm very sensitive to my clients knowing how little I really know! Mainly because if I establish early on with them that I don't know what's going on they can use that to their advantage or continue to think I don't know anything after I do learn everything...
I also had to remember to get paperwork from this woman, make copies of it and get it back to her.
I said "hello (name) to my second client and she looked at me and said "how do you know me?!?!" looking very paranoid and uneasy. I explained to her that I have seen her around and read information about her...I could tell right off the bat she's not mentally stable. This woman is new to the shelter and very overwhelmed. She has 4 children and absolutely nothing. She doesn't understand anything about Public Assistance, Public Housing...nothing! I explained basics to her but didn't even begin to tell her everything that I needed to. I had to refer her to counseling services because she came across so fragile. I also had to address that all of her children are sick, there are rats in her room, she doesn't have an open public assistance case, and I had to gather numerous other resources for her. I then had to do photocopying etc for her as well.
My 3rd client came to me and wanted information about employment. I am still very much in the learning stages about all the employment options so I had to fudge a lot with this. I went through what I knew but it was frustrating that I had to tell her so many times "I'll get back to you". After she left I then had to continue to talk to different people and gather resources for her...I told her I'd have all of it in her mailbox by 5 today and that didn't happen.
Next I had a woman come in that again didn't have a clue what was going on and felt very lost. She has a teenage daughter with her and two younger children.
One thing I should explain first is that when clients come to the shelter they are either deemed "conditional" or "eligible". I won't go deep into this but conditional clients come here from New York's housing authority and New York hasn't actually decided if they are really homeless. The client gives the housing authority information and they have to check it all out before they decide the person really has no where to go, or that they do actually have somewhere they could be staying. Eligible means they don't have anywhere to stay and they are allowed to stay at the shelter. If they come to the shelter conditional and the housing authority decides they do have somewhere they could stay they are immediately take from the shelter...kind of a crazy system.
So anyways....this woman didn't understand whether she was conditional or eligible. I have no way of knowing either and have to call certain people to find out. Well I call those certain people and they tell me "yes, she is eligible", so I go through tons of information with her explaining the system at the shelter ya da ya da ya da...then I go downstairs and tell the front desk that she doesn't have everything she needs since she is eligible and they said...opps there was a mistake she is not eligible, she's still conditional! I didn't have the energy to track down this woman and tell her everything I just told her, she doesn't actually get yet...so i left this alone and will deal with it tomorrow.
Another client I have dealt with quite a bit is Russian and the HARDEST person to understand. I only talk to her on the phone because she works when I am at the office. I spoke to this woman for god knows how long trying to explain issues she is having currently and I seem to be unsuccessful. It has been suggested to me to use an interpreter but I don't even want to tell you the effort it will take to get one....
I also meet with another woman today that doesn't have enough motivation and I am very cautious with her because I think she's sneaky. I sat with her for at least a half hour hearing about a job that she was going to refuse to work because they wanted her to work weekends and she has kids and no one can watch them on the weekends....
I also had staff come and tell me I had a new client come in today with NO clothes (she came from the hospital and had sheets on) and she needed food. This woman literally has nothing. She is pregnant and due any day now. SHe was staying with her mother who was abusing her so she was sent to use with absolutely nothing. So then i'm running around trying to figure out how to get this girl some food....
Did I mention that all of this happened between 1pm and 5pm today! Normally I'll see more than just this number of clients...and I have tons of paperwork I have to do on top of all of this!
Now I realize no one may really care what I did all day today but it helped me de-stress a little to write about all the craziness of the day and all the things I have to remember to do tomorrow!!
This week is going to feel psychotic anyways. I normally would have class tonight and Thursday. St John's decided they don't want to start classes until Wednesday though, so I have to have my MONDAY classes on WEDNESDAY and then I still have my Thursday classes. And keep in mind I'm flying out straight after work on Friday to go home, man the madness...
Okay, I'm going to go sit and do nothing for a minute...and then go to the gym and work out some of the stress!!
Sar
The first client that I saw is pregnant and also has a 3yr old son. When she has her second baby she has no where for her 3yr old to stay...so her only option is Respite Care. I still know very little about this organization but in a nutshell they take care of people for short periods of time when there's no one else too. SO I had to assist her as she contacted Respite and discussed all the options with her. I then had to do my first service plan with her and of course I couldn't remember how to do it on the computer. I then just did it on paper and pretended my computer wasn't working so that she would know that I just didn't know what I was doing.
I'm very sensitive to my clients knowing how little I really know! Mainly because if I establish early on with them that I don't know what's going on they can use that to their advantage or continue to think I don't know anything after I do learn everything...
I also had to remember to get paperwork from this woman, make copies of it and get it back to her.
I said "hello (name) to my second client and she looked at me and said "how do you know me?!?!" looking very paranoid and uneasy. I explained to her that I have seen her around and read information about her...I could tell right off the bat she's not mentally stable. This woman is new to the shelter and very overwhelmed. She has 4 children and absolutely nothing. She doesn't understand anything about Public Assistance, Public Housing...nothing! I explained basics to her but didn't even begin to tell her everything that I needed to. I had to refer her to counseling services because she came across so fragile. I also had to address that all of her children are sick, there are rats in her room, she doesn't have an open public assistance case, and I had to gather numerous other resources for her. I then had to do photocopying etc for her as well.
My 3rd client came to me and wanted information about employment. I am still very much in the learning stages about all the employment options so I had to fudge a lot with this. I went through what I knew but it was frustrating that I had to tell her so many times "I'll get back to you". After she left I then had to continue to talk to different people and gather resources for her...I told her I'd have all of it in her mailbox by 5 today and that didn't happen.
Next I had a woman come in that again didn't have a clue what was going on and felt very lost. She has a teenage daughter with her and two younger children.
One thing I should explain first is that when clients come to the shelter they are either deemed "conditional" or "eligible". I won't go deep into this but conditional clients come here from New York's housing authority and New York hasn't actually decided if they are really homeless. The client gives the housing authority information and they have to check it all out before they decide the person really has no where to go, or that they do actually have somewhere they could be staying. Eligible means they don't have anywhere to stay and they are allowed to stay at the shelter. If they come to the shelter conditional and the housing authority decides they do have somewhere they could stay they are immediately take from the shelter...kind of a crazy system.
So anyways....this woman didn't understand whether she was conditional or eligible. I have no way of knowing either and have to call certain people to find out. Well I call those certain people and they tell me "yes, she is eligible", so I go through tons of information with her explaining the system at the shelter ya da ya da ya da...then I go downstairs and tell the front desk that she doesn't have everything she needs since she is eligible and they said...opps there was a mistake she is not eligible, she's still conditional! I didn't have the energy to track down this woman and tell her everything I just told her, she doesn't actually get yet...so i left this alone and will deal with it tomorrow.
Another client I have dealt with quite a bit is Russian and the HARDEST person to understand. I only talk to her on the phone because she works when I am at the office. I spoke to this woman for god knows how long trying to explain issues she is having currently and I seem to be unsuccessful. It has been suggested to me to use an interpreter but I don't even want to tell you the effort it will take to get one....
I also meet with another woman today that doesn't have enough motivation and I am very cautious with her because I think she's sneaky. I sat with her for at least a half hour hearing about a job that she was going to refuse to work because they wanted her to work weekends and she has kids and no one can watch them on the weekends....
I also had staff come and tell me I had a new client come in today with NO clothes (she came from the hospital and had sheets on) and she needed food. This woman literally has nothing. She is pregnant and due any day now. SHe was staying with her mother who was abusing her so she was sent to use with absolutely nothing. So then i'm running around trying to figure out how to get this girl some food....
Did I mention that all of this happened between 1pm and 5pm today! Normally I'll see more than just this number of clients...and I have tons of paperwork I have to do on top of all of this!
Now I realize no one may really care what I did all day today but it helped me de-stress a little to write about all the craziness of the day and all the things I have to remember to do tomorrow!!
This week is going to feel psychotic anyways. I normally would have class tonight and Thursday. St John's decided they don't want to start classes until Wednesday though, so I have to have my MONDAY classes on WEDNESDAY and then I still have my Thursday classes. And keep in mind I'm flying out straight after work on Friday to go home, man the madness...
Okay, I'm going to go sit and do nothing for a minute...and then go to the gym and work out some of the stress!!
Sar
Sunday, August 24, 2008
Summer Days
Hey All,
So I know it's been a while since I posted but my life has been pretty slow. I worked all week and it hasn't gotten too eventful yet because I don't officially start seeing my clients until tomorrow! I got a little taste of working with clients though because some of them couldn't wait until Monday!
I did get a phone call from my sister this week though telling me she had a fire in her house!! Don't worry everyone and everything is fine!! She called me while I was at work though, so I was curious what was going on. She said it was a long story but I told her she had to tell me anyways :) She then told me there was a fire in the house! I knew no one was hurt because she was too calm but I was worried about damage! Luckily she said she didn't have any permanent damage...just a smoke filled house...so how did this fire start you may be thinking :) Well my sister went out to do errands and had a casserole dish sitting on her stove. The dogs were left out of their crates (which has become the norm lately) and the lovely beagle, Howie, tried to jump on the stove to get the dish and turned on the stove!
When Rach got home she heard a high pitched noise but didn't realize what it was until she practically got in her house and realized it was her smoke alarm! Rach opened the door and her house was FILLED with smoke. Luckily the "fire" was pretty much contained to the container on the stove but because the lid on the dish was plastic it smoked horribly! To make a long story short Rach called the fire dept, got the dogs out (who are ok!) and had to stay in a hotel for a day while her house was cleaned top to bottom to get the smoke out of her house and all her things. She's even had to get all new food. Luckily her home owner's insurance is good and covered the cleaning after a deductible. So this was a big scare and lesson to everyone to be careful with pets or kids that could cause these accidents!
I also bought my plane ticket for my trip home over labor day weekend! It's going to be the shortest trip ever (3 days) but I'm so excited to get home and go to the blueberry festival;) However getting plane tickets was sooo stressful! My ticket was easy. I decided to fly becuase I had no other option. I wanted to take a train back but because I'm such a procrastinator it was sold out!! So then I looked at bus tickets and they were $300!!!! I told Ali this and he was like "I just saw plane tickets for the price!". So I decided to fly even though I get extremely frustrated flying. Like I said though...my tickets was pretty easy to find and cost $319. Then we had to try to get Ali a ticket...this was interesting. We are flying seperate because I'm flying late friday and back tues morning and he's flying sat night and leaving thurs evening. He couldn't get Saturday off of work, which was annoying but what can you do. Ali actually had a voucher from Continental from a previous flight when he agreed to switch flights because they overbooked. To make it easy we decided to just call Continential. Big mistake...but we don't learn this til later. So we call them and we get a guy and explain we need a ticket from NYC to South Bend on Saturday the 30th and back on Thurs Sept 4th. So the guy says he has a ticket for Saturday night to Thursday for NY to South Bend. Great. We buy it. He tells use he'll get an email confirmation within a few hours and if he doesn't to call Continential back the next day. Well Ali never got the confirmation so we called Continental back the next day to tell them. I call them first just to fix the email ( I'm better at being nice and patient on the phone ;) and think I hear something about Indianapolis. So after I fix the email I tell the man I also need to confirm the flight is from NY to South Bend and just my luck, he says "why no ma'am, it's to and from Indianapolis". Grrrrrrrr I don't even have the energy to re-explain the next 2 1/2 hours on the phone!!! That's right people 2 1/2 hours! But they agreed to waive the change fee and charged us and extra $100 for a differently flight home...coming in he's still coming in to Indianapolis late Saturday night and I have to go pick him up :( Not real excited about this people. Luckily on Thursday he's flying out of South Bend into NY though. Let me just say flying is no longer convenient or priced for the average American so my goal is to begin flying as little as possible. I will be taking a train home for Thanksgiving and Christmas FYI!
On Thursday we had a staff appreciation day so I didn't have to go to work! Instead we had a bbq at an outdoor restaurant in the city. I actually enjoyed it. The weather was great and I've gotten to know my co-workers well enough that I felt comfortable spending a few hours with them! We sat around and ate and they had a few things for us to do like dancing, face painting, and henna. I got the henna because I've always wanted to try it and it was free. Here's a picture of mine! It's faded a little bit but you can still see it!
This weekend was my first weekend not working and being home! It was so nice and relaxing I NEVER want to have a job that is on the weekends ever again! I can't even begin to describe how much it helped me relax! Saturday I did errands and hung out with Reena again. We did a little shopping and had dinner at an Italian restaurant. Today I did more shopping with Ali...gosh it sounds like I'm shopping a lot! Today we got groceries though...and I didn't pay :). It just feels nice to have a schedule...next week I start classes again so my life will become a little crazier...so a weekend of laziness is a good thing.
Love
Sar
So I know it's been a while since I posted but my life has been pretty slow. I worked all week and it hasn't gotten too eventful yet because I don't officially start seeing my clients until tomorrow! I got a little taste of working with clients though because some of them couldn't wait until Monday!
I did get a phone call from my sister this week though telling me she had a fire in her house!! Don't worry everyone and everything is fine!! She called me while I was at work though, so I was curious what was going on. She said it was a long story but I told her she had to tell me anyways :) She then told me there was a fire in the house! I knew no one was hurt because she was too calm but I was worried about damage! Luckily she said she didn't have any permanent damage...just a smoke filled house...so how did this fire start you may be thinking :) Well my sister went out to do errands and had a casserole dish sitting on her stove. The dogs were left out of their crates (which has become the norm lately) and the lovely beagle, Howie, tried to jump on the stove to get the dish and turned on the stove!
When Rach got home she heard a high pitched noise but didn't realize what it was until she practically got in her house and realized it was her smoke alarm! Rach opened the door and her house was FILLED with smoke. Luckily the "fire" was pretty much contained to the container on the stove but because the lid on the dish was plastic it smoked horribly! To make a long story short Rach called the fire dept, got the dogs out (who are ok!) and had to stay in a hotel for a day while her house was cleaned top to bottom to get the smoke out of her house and all her things. She's even had to get all new food. Luckily her home owner's insurance is good and covered the cleaning after a deductible. So this was a big scare and lesson to everyone to be careful with pets or kids that could cause these accidents!
I also bought my plane ticket for my trip home over labor day weekend! It's going to be the shortest trip ever (3 days) but I'm so excited to get home and go to the blueberry festival;) However getting plane tickets was sooo stressful! My ticket was easy. I decided to fly becuase I had no other option. I wanted to take a train back but because I'm such a procrastinator it was sold out!! So then I looked at bus tickets and they were $300!!!! I told Ali this and he was like "I just saw plane tickets for the price!". So I decided to fly even though I get extremely frustrated flying. Like I said though...my tickets was pretty easy to find and cost $319. Then we had to try to get Ali a ticket...this was interesting. We are flying seperate because I'm flying late friday and back tues morning and he's flying sat night and leaving thurs evening. He couldn't get Saturday off of work, which was annoying but what can you do. Ali actually had a voucher from Continental from a previous flight when he agreed to switch flights because they overbooked. To make it easy we decided to just call Continential. Big mistake...but we don't learn this til later. So we call them and we get a guy and explain we need a ticket from NYC to South Bend on Saturday the 30th and back on Thurs Sept 4th. So the guy says he has a ticket for Saturday night to Thursday for NY to South Bend. Great. We buy it. He tells use he'll get an email confirmation within a few hours and if he doesn't to call Continential back the next day. Well Ali never got the confirmation so we called Continental back the next day to tell them. I call them first just to fix the email ( I'm better at being nice and patient on the phone ;) and think I hear something about Indianapolis. So after I fix the email I tell the man I also need to confirm the flight is from NY to South Bend and just my luck, he says "why no ma'am, it's to and from Indianapolis". Grrrrrrrr I don't even have the energy to re-explain the next 2 1/2 hours on the phone!!! That's right people 2 1/2 hours! But they agreed to waive the change fee and charged us and extra $100 for a differently flight home...coming in he's still coming in to Indianapolis late Saturday night and I have to go pick him up :( Not real excited about this people. Luckily on Thursday he's flying out of South Bend into NY though. Let me just say flying is no longer convenient or priced for the average American so my goal is to begin flying as little as possible. I will be taking a train home for Thanksgiving and Christmas FYI!
On Thursday we had a staff appreciation day so I didn't have to go to work! Instead we had a bbq at an outdoor restaurant in the city. I actually enjoyed it. The weather was great and I've gotten to know my co-workers well enough that I felt comfortable spending a few hours with them! We sat around and ate and they had a few things for us to do like dancing, face painting, and henna. I got the henna because I've always wanted to try it and it was free. Here's a picture of mine! It's faded a little bit but you can still see it!
This weekend was my first weekend not working and being home! It was so nice and relaxing I NEVER want to have a job that is on the weekends ever again! I can't even begin to describe how much it helped me relax! Saturday I did errands and hung out with Reena again. We did a little shopping and had dinner at an Italian restaurant. Today I did more shopping with Ali...gosh it sounds like I'm shopping a lot! Today we got groceries though...and I didn't pay :). It just feels nice to have a schedule...next week I start classes again so my life will become a little crazier...so a weekend of laziness is a good thing.
Love
Sar
Tuesday, August 19, 2008
Decisions, Decisions
I don't like decisions I have finally decided :)
I'm at work right now...so this is a bit of a no no...but I use this blog to vent and get my thoughts out and I'm feeling a need to do that at the moment. So I haven't really written about a decision I have had to make over this weekend yet because I didn't really feel like solidifying my decision.
Last Thursday I was given an offer from St. John's to take a graduate assistant position in the sociology dept. It is a part time positions and your tuition is waivered. I would be working with a professor assisting them with whatever they want assistance with:) HOWEVER...you don't get paid and you aren't allowed to work while you are a graduate assistant! No pay can be difficult when you have bills and have a goal of getting your own apartment! My goal is to eventually get myself out of social services and into the academic world and so this was such a frustrating decision to make.
Do I chose the GA position that takes me closer to my goal of academia, while paying for my tuition, but then using my loans to live on....
OR do I keep my full time social work position, that wille eventually get difficult, (all social work positions do), but I will have money to get my own apartment, pay my bils, won't go into deeper debt etc etc
Well today I was forced to verbalize my decision and called the head of the sociology dept and told her I could not take the position. This was such a hard phone call for me...I got off the phone and felt like crying...one because I am just such an emotional person and its very easy for me to cry :) two because I hate being an adult. I don't like the difficult decisions that come with adulthood and the things you are forced to consider when making your decisions. Decisions are no longer based on simply what you want...
When you're young you're decisions are really not that big or life altering, you think they are...but they really aren't. Whether or not to date Billy Bob or not to date Billy Bob....should I work at Gap or should I work at Old Navy...prom or no prom, really people, these aren't life altering.
I'm an adult though, and I realize this more and more when I have to base decisions on money, location, benefits, loans etc etc.
I am extremely sad that I couldn't take this position. Now I know this decision wouldn't classify as life altering...but one can't help but wonder if I'm letting my break into academia be postponed due to this decision...I guess I'll never really know...I can only have a positive attitude and hope that I will get another opportunity and be in a financial place where I can take it.
I'm at work right now...so this is a bit of a no no...but I use this blog to vent and get my thoughts out and I'm feeling a need to do that at the moment. So I haven't really written about a decision I have had to make over this weekend yet because I didn't really feel like solidifying my decision.
Last Thursday I was given an offer from St. John's to take a graduate assistant position in the sociology dept. It is a part time positions and your tuition is waivered. I would be working with a professor assisting them with whatever they want assistance with:) HOWEVER...you don't get paid and you aren't allowed to work while you are a graduate assistant! No pay can be difficult when you have bills and have a goal of getting your own apartment! My goal is to eventually get myself out of social services and into the academic world and so this was such a frustrating decision to make.
Do I chose the GA position that takes me closer to my goal of academia, while paying for my tuition, but then using my loans to live on....
OR do I keep my full time social work position, that wille eventually get difficult, (all social work positions do), but I will have money to get my own apartment, pay my bils, won't go into deeper debt etc etc
Well today I was forced to verbalize my decision and called the head of the sociology dept and told her I could not take the position. This was such a hard phone call for me...I got off the phone and felt like crying...one because I am just such an emotional person and its very easy for me to cry :) two because I hate being an adult. I don't like the difficult decisions that come with adulthood and the things you are forced to consider when making your decisions. Decisions are no longer based on simply what you want...
When you're young you're decisions are really not that big or life altering, you think they are...but they really aren't. Whether or not to date Billy Bob or not to date Billy Bob....should I work at Gap or should I work at Old Navy...prom or no prom, really people, these aren't life altering.
I'm an adult though, and I realize this more and more when I have to base decisions on money, location, benefits, loans etc etc.
I am extremely sad that I couldn't take this position. Now I know this decision wouldn't classify as life altering...but one can't help but wonder if I'm letting my break into academia be postponed due to this decision...I guess I'll never really know...I can only have a positive attitude and hope that I will get another opportunity and be in a financial place where I can take it.
Monday, August 18, 2008
I got back to my country roots!
Hey Everybody!
This last weekend I visited Rach in upstate NY. It was a chore trying to get up there but once I got there it was a great weekend.
I left after work on Friday at around 4:30. Now normally I would get upstate in about 5 hours...well not on a Friday leaving NYC. It took 7 1/2 hours guys!!!!! I'm not exaggerating either! I got there at midnight! What a drive. I got stuck in traffic and sat for who knows how long, my GPS system stopped working half way through the drive (thank goodness for a good memory), and I almost ran out of gas at the end of the drive because the last hour you are in the middle of no where!!
But I got there :) On Saturday we went to Boldt Castle in Alexandria Bay, NY. It's right across the water from Canada! I love historical buildings, especially homes. The kids did really well too! We spent a little time after touring the castle hanging around the town. It's soooo cute. It makes me desperately miss all the small little towns around Indiana. This area is called the 1000 Island regions and I love it. There's tons of small little towns and it's totally country.
Here are a few pictures from Saturday. The last picture is from the top of the castle looking at the town of Alexandria Bay!
On Sunday Rach and I took the kids to Old McDonald Farm!!! It was so cute. This is a real, working farm that does tours of the farm for kids. They let kids pet and see all of their animals. Sophie feed the goats popcorn, we saw pigs (did you know pigs are actually smarter than dogs!!),sheep, llamas, chickens, rabbits, horses...everything! We toured the cow barns too. This farm has 550 cows and milks all of them 3 times a day!! Here are a few pictures from the day!
My weekend felt so short. I miss the babies already!! Don't worry I miss you too Rach. It's so hard to leave them...especially since Sophie has given me a nickname...Bebo!! We have no idea where it came from but I love it. When I was leaving she stood on the front porch saying "bye bye bebo, bye bye"!!! Then I honked my horn for her and made her jump cuz it scared her so much! :)
Sar
This last weekend I visited Rach in upstate NY. It was a chore trying to get up there but once I got there it was a great weekend.
I left after work on Friday at around 4:30. Now normally I would get upstate in about 5 hours...well not on a Friday leaving NYC. It took 7 1/2 hours guys!!!!! I'm not exaggerating either! I got there at midnight! What a drive. I got stuck in traffic and sat for who knows how long, my GPS system stopped working half way through the drive (thank goodness for a good memory), and I almost ran out of gas at the end of the drive because the last hour you are in the middle of no where!!
But I got there :) On Saturday we went to Boldt Castle in Alexandria Bay, NY. It's right across the water from Canada! I love historical buildings, especially homes. The kids did really well too! We spent a little time after touring the castle hanging around the town. It's soooo cute. It makes me desperately miss all the small little towns around Indiana. This area is called the 1000 Island regions and I love it. There's tons of small little towns and it's totally country.
Here are a few pictures from Saturday. The last picture is from the top of the castle looking at the town of Alexandria Bay!
On Sunday Rach and I took the kids to Old McDonald Farm!!! It was so cute. This is a real, working farm that does tours of the farm for kids. They let kids pet and see all of their animals. Sophie feed the goats popcorn, we saw pigs (did you know pigs are actually smarter than dogs!!),sheep, llamas, chickens, rabbits, horses...everything! We toured the cow barns too. This farm has 550 cows and milks all of them 3 times a day!! Here are a few pictures from the day!
My weekend felt so short. I miss the babies already!! Don't worry I miss you too Rach. It's so hard to leave them...especially since Sophie has given me a nickname...Bebo!! We have no idea where it came from but I love it. When I was leaving she stood on the front porch saying "bye bye bebo, bye bye"!!! Then I honked my horn for her and made her jump cuz it scared her so much! :)
Sar
Thursday, August 14, 2008
Dude...today's Thursday??!!?
Hey All,
So I definitely thought today was Wednesday! I can't believe tomorrow is Friday! Work has been going well...I'm actually starting to enjoy it more and more. The first day is always hard but I'm starting to get to know people and my job better and better with every day. I think I'll feel decently confident once I start working with clients (which won't be until the 25th!). Tuesday, Wednesday and today I spent reading files on my clients and meeting with more people at Briarwood (the name of the facility I work at) and learning what their role is. My job is to be a resource for all of my clients so I need to know everyone's job as well as a lot of government programs like housing, public assistance, social security etc. One thing I'm noticing and really liking is that the program is very organized. Everyone has just one job and knows it well....does that make sense? I just feel like for employees and clients it's really clear what everyone does and there's no overlap or anything.
I actually got a little more outspoken today and got in a "heated discussion" with a maintenance worker at the building. Today we had a going away party for the girl I'm replacing and everyone in the building was invited. We actually are really close with our maintenance men! My guy is Harris :) We've bonded well. Anyway...one of them decided to start a conversation at the end of the going away party with a couple of us employees. He decided to bring up a discussion about the "N" word. He is black and feels like he has the right to say it. At Briarwood I'm actually a minority. Most of the staff is black or hispanic, with a few white. Which is fine, I actually enjoy the diversity...but anyways...so myself and this guy as well as 2 other black women, another white girl, and another black man were are sitting and having this conversation. It got quite heated because all of us except the 2 black men felt no one should use the "N" word, black or white. It turned into a 30min discussion about why it's not okay for anyone to use it (which is due to it's symbolism and the history and meaning of the word, as well as respecting the people that were actually affected by the meaning of the word). It was such a frustrating conversation because this man continued to think because I'm from Indiana I must use the word and be racist because "everyone from Indiana is racist", according to him.
It was interesting though because I've never shown my opinion so loudly and openly or so quickly when I've just started a job. It was kind of relieving though...to just give my opinion and say this is what I think...I don't care if you don't like it!!!
Nothing else too exciting has happened in the last few days!! I could give you a few stories about clients but I'm tired and have to get up early tomorrow. I'm going to work early because I'm going to Rach's for the weekend and leaving right after work!!
K...I'm going to bed all.
Good Night!
Sarah
So I definitely thought today was Wednesday! I can't believe tomorrow is Friday! Work has been going well...I'm actually starting to enjoy it more and more. The first day is always hard but I'm starting to get to know people and my job better and better with every day. I think I'll feel decently confident once I start working with clients (which won't be until the 25th!). Tuesday, Wednesday and today I spent reading files on my clients and meeting with more people at Briarwood (the name of the facility I work at) and learning what their role is. My job is to be a resource for all of my clients so I need to know everyone's job as well as a lot of government programs like housing, public assistance, social security etc. One thing I'm noticing and really liking is that the program is very organized. Everyone has just one job and knows it well....does that make sense? I just feel like for employees and clients it's really clear what everyone does and there's no overlap or anything.
I actually got a little more outspoken today and got in a "heated discussion" with a maintenance worker at the building. Today we had a going away party for the girl I'm replacing and everyone in the building was invited. We actually are really close with our maintenance men! My guy is Harris :) We've bonded well. Anyway...one of them decided to start a conversation at the end of the going away party with a couple of us employees. He decided to bring up a discussion about the "N" word. He is black and feels like he has the right to say it. At Briarwood I'm actually a minority. Most of the staff is black or hispanic, with a few white. Which is fine, I actually enjoy the diversity...but anyways...so myself and this guy as well as 2 other black women, another white girl, and another black man were are sitting and having this conversation. It got quite heated because all of us except the 2 black men felt no one should use the "N" word, black or white. It turned into a 30min discussion about why it's not okay for anyone to use it (which is due to it's symbolism and the history and meaning of the word, as well as respecting the people that were actually affected by the meaning of the word). It was such a frustrating conversation because this man continued to think because I'm from Indiana I must use the word and be racist because "everyone from Indiana is racist", according to him.
It was interesting though because I've never shown my opinion so loudly and openly or so quickly when I've just started a job. It was kind of relieving though...to just give my opinion and say this is what I think...I don't care if you don't like it!!!
Nothing else too exciting has happened in the last few days!! I could give you a few stories about clients but I'm tired and have to get up early tomorrow. I'm going to work early because I'm going to Rach's for the weekend and leaving right after work!!
K...I'm going to bed all.
Good Night!
Sarah
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