That's Hindi!
It means Hi, How are you? Now besides that I can say "accha" - which means yes however it can mean more than just a general yes, it can also mean: good, oh, really?!?!, ah I see...etc etc...so I still get confused when I use it how someone knows what I'm trying to say exactly! hahahaha
I can also say:
no - nahi
cheese - paneer
spinach - mutter
lentils - dal
ok - thik hai
potato - aaloo
That's all I've got hahahaa!! I know that knowing how to say cheese, spinach, lentils and potato aren't the most useful words but I'm workin' on it!
Friday, January 9, 2009
Monday, January 5, 2009
Have I really gotten this bad?!?!?!
Wow has it really been this long since I've blogged!!!
One of my New Year's resolutions is to improve my blog! One way I'm going to 'improve" it is by doing shorter blogs. Now I know what some of you are thinking...how is that a good thing?!?!? Well so that I will be a more successful and frequent blogger the blogs need to be a smidge shorter....the pressure to write a book every time is just to great...and it makes me blog less...so shorter (but hopefully just as good of blogs) are on the way :)!
In the spirit of New Year's resolutions here a few of my other goals for the year...and yes some are cliche and so unoriginal :)
1. Do a better job staying in touch with distant friends
2. Lose weight and become healthier (this is one of those unoriginal goals :)
3. Plan a vacation overseas (thinkin' India kids)
4. Read at least 6 books this year
5. Organize the gazillion pictures I have sitting in a box under my bed
6. Try to get closer with Ali's mom
7. Become more organized (I think I'd be a little more relaxed if I didn't have hidden messes and used a calender more!)
8. Take pictures (this is something I want to add to my blog a lot more!!)
9. Re-take my GRE's and do well! :)
10. Take a writing course (this is more for grad school than a deep desire to improve myself!)
11. Begin to learn Hindi (Rosetta Stone should totally be cheaper though man!!)
12. Apply to graduate school
13. Make a list of all the sites I want to see in New York City and see them :)
Not a bad list right?!?!
Ok now to keep with my goal :) this is it for tonight friends! I'll be back tomorrow with another short but wonderful blog!
One of my New Year's resolutions is to improve my blog! One way I'm going to 'improve" it is by doing shorter blogs. Now I know what some of you are thinking...how is that a good thing?!?!? Well so that I will be a more successful and frequent blogger the blogs need to be a smidge shorter....the pressure to write a book every time is just to great...and it makes me blog less...so shorter (but hopefully just as good of blogs) are on the way :)!
In the spirit of New Year's resolutions here a few of my other goals for the year...and yes some are cliche and so unoriginal :)
1. Do a better job staying in touch with distant friends
2. Lose weight and become healthier (this is one of those unoriginal goals :)
3. Plan a vacation overseas (thinkin' India kids)
4. Read at least 6 books this year
5. Organize the gazillion pictures I have sitting in a box under my bed
6. Try to get closer with Ali's mom
7. Become more organized (I think I'd be a little more relaxed if I didn't have hidden messes and used a calender more!)
8. Take pictures (this is something I want to add to my blog a lot more!!)
9. Re-take my GRE's and do well! :)
10. Take a writing course (this is more for grad school than a deep desire to improve myself!)
11. Begin to learn Hindi (Rosetta Stone should totally be cheaper though man!!)
12. Apply to graduate school
13. Make a list of all the sites I want to see in New York City and see them :)
Not a bad list right?!?!
Ok now to keep with my goal :) this is it for tonight friends! I'll be back tomorrow with another short but wonderful blog!
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
Support Systems
I know it's been a while! I've been so busy trying to get done with finals and I finished this last Monday! Hallelujah!!
And here I am blogging again at work. :)
However I just met one of my new clients and it was one of the hardest meetings I've ever had with a client.
I had to hold back the tears. I wanted to so desperately give her a hug and tell her everything would be okay but that can't be my role. I have to save that role for her mother or sister. I am her advocate, not her friend.
CD was living in her own apartment making about $4,000 a month working at the same job for the past 11 years. Which by NYC standards is not a lot but you can definitely make it work. She lost her job this last April and hasn't been able to get back on her feet. She was staying with her mother up until recently but her mother's apartment is very small and just couldn't fit CD and her 5 kids. People were sleeping on the floor and it was not a good long term solution. Without having other family members with the means to support her, her only option was to enter the homeless system.
What really struck me was that this could be someone I know. We sat here and spoke just as though we were two people that meet walking down the street. I don't typically have those types of conversations with my clients. With most of my clients there is too much of a cultural gap for us to have that type of connection.
What also touched me was that she reminded me of someone I would meet at home in Indiana. She had such a nice demeanor and didn't have that rough, aggressive approach. She was just like a nice, approachable Hoosier. She actually reminded me of someone I worked with in Bloomington.
It was so hard to sit here and see a mother trying to hide her tears from her son as she tells me she about how she's gone from having everything to nothing in just a few months. And now she's at the hands of a very unpleasant woman at the Dept of Homeless Services (DHS) to determine whether or not she will be allowed to stay in the shelter system. Every family that goes to DHS and states they are homeless is investigated, and a case worker in the department gets the ultimate say...and it sounds at though CD happened to get a case manager that just doesn't care.
I've really been struggling a lot lately with my financial situation. I feel overwhelmed every time I think about the cost of living out here, my income and the student loans I'm racking up. I can't even begin to describe how much I worry about this.
But I feel like God needed me to meet CD today. I needed to be reminded I am ok. I have an apartment. I have the financial means to survive. And most importantly if everything fell apart and I had no money, I know have numerous family members and freinds I could turn to in a heartbeat. I would never be homeless. Not because I would never be financially broken, because anybody could, but I have the support system that would never allow me to be homeless.
As Americans, including myself, we always think that it's finances that cause homelessness, and yes it is a part, but another large part of homelessness is not having a strong support system either. Not having good relationships with family. Having family but having family that's so financially stapped and strained they can't support one more person.
I am blessed. I am so blessed. Not because of my financial status, since that can always be taken from me, but from what I will never lose - my friends and family. I realized today I have much more security than I thought.
God gave me a new perspective today.
And here I am blogging again at work. :)
However I just met one of my new clients and it was one of the hardest meetings I've ever had with a client.
I had to hold back the tears. I wanted to so desperately give her a hug and tell her everything would be okay but that can't be my role. I have to save that role for her mother or sister. I am her advocate, not her friend.
CD was living in her own apartment making about $4,000 a month working at the same job for the past 11 years. Which by NYC standards is not a lot but you can definitely make it work. She lost her job this last April and hasn't been able to get back on her feet. She was staying with her mother up until recently but her mother's apartment is very small and just couldn't fit CD and her 5 kids. People were sleeping on the floor and it was not a good long term solution. Without having other family members with the means to support her, her only option was to enter the homeless system.
What really struck me was that this could be someone I know. We sat here and spoke just as though we were two people that meet walking down the street. I don't typically have those types of conversations with my clients. With most of my clients there is too much of a cultural gap for us to have that type of connection.
What also touched me was that she reminded me of someone I would meet at home in Indiana. She had such a nice demeanor and didn't have that rough, aggressive approach. She was just like a nice, approachable Hoosier. She actually reminded me of someone I worked with in Bloomington.
It was so hard to sit here and see a mother trying to hide her tears from her son as she tells me she about how she's gone from having everything to nothing in just a few months. And now she's at the hands of a very unpleasant woman at the Dept of Homeless Services (DHS) to determine whether or not she will be allowed to stay in the shelter system. Every family that goes to DHS and states they are homeless is investigated, and a case worker in the department gets the ultimate say...and it sounds at though CD happened to get a case manager that just doesn't care.
I've really been struggling a lot lately with my financial situation. I feel overwhelmed every time I think about the cost of living out here, my income and the student loans I'm racking up. I can't even begin to describe how much I worry about this.
But I feel like God needed me to meet CD today. I needed to be reminded I am ok. I have an apartment. I have the financial means to survive. And most importantly if everything fell apart and I had no money, I know have numerous family members and freinds I could turn to in a heartbeat. I would never be homeless. Not because I would never be financially broken, because anybody could, but I have the support system that would never allow me to be homeless.
As Americans, including myself, we always think that it's finances that cause homelessness, and yes it is a part, but another large part of homelessness is not having a strong support system either. Not having good relationships with family. Having family but having family that's so financially stapped and strained they can't support one more person.
I am blessed. I am so blessed. Not because of my financial status, since that can always be taken from me, but from what I will never lose - my friends and family. I realized today I have much more security than I thought.
God gave me a new perspective today.
Thursday, December 4, 2008
Randomness
Yes I am sitting at work blogging. I can't help it. I have no motivation for work and my computer is sitting right here in front of me, calling me to do something I shouldn't be doing. I just need to get it out of my system and then I'll be able to work...hopefully :)
It's funny I don't even have anything super important to share....I just feel like sharing, so here are some random tidbits...
I have made a decision recently that I am very excited about...I'm getting a bunny!!!
I can't get a dog right now because they aren't allowed in my apartment and they are a lot of work in the beginning with training etc, so I've decided I want a bunny. I desperately want something cuddly to take care and a rabbit is perfect. I have made it clear to Ali I want a bunny and I"m hoping maybe he'll get it for me for Christmas...otherwise it will still be about 2 months until I can save enough extra money for the cage and everything the bunny needs. Sad it would take that long isn't it!
Also I've been thinking about bangs...I would like opinions...who thinks I'd look good with bangs? I've been straightening my hair, but even with some curl they might be okay..right?!?!
I am also going to start making my own jewelry!!!!! I'm so pumped (Gosh remember when that word used to be cooler :) I got the idea while shopping with my mom after Thanksgiving. So much jewelry is way over priced and not that hard to make. I"m going to go into Manahattan in the next couple weeks and go to a beads store to try to buy everything I need to get started. I'm just hoping things won't be outrageously expensive, otherwise I may wait until I'm home for Christmas and buy it all in Indiana!
Also here is a little quiz that I found on a friends blog and thought was fun :)
Sitting: In my office at my messy desk.
Smelling: My own perfume..there's still a small hint of it :)
Listening: to the traffic outside my office window and the kids talking in the hallway.
Drinking: nothing but really wishing I had some coffee. I gave it up because coffee seems to always make me sick...but I'm thinking of splurging and getting some on my way to my 7pm class! Hey you gotta stay awake some how!
Reading: The Commercialization fo Intimate Life by Arlie Hochschild. Great Sociologist. Great book. Read it.
Loving: That I get to go back to Indiana in less than 3 weeks.
Dreading Writing 2 more looonnngg papers and taking a stats test in the next 2 weeks.
Eagerly: Waiting for it to be 6:34 so that I can clock out of work!
Worrying: About all the loans I'm racking up.
Wishing: I'd get to see some snow soon.
Praying: My stress level will decrease after December 18th when I turn in my last paper for school.
Grateful: I can take off my uncomfortable work pants soon! hahaha
Sharing: my thoughts ;)
Ok all...back to work :)
It's funny I don't even have anything super important to share....I just feel like sharing, so here are some random tidbits...
I have made a decision recently that I am very excited about...I'm getting a bunny!!!
I can't get a dog right now because they aren't allowed in my apartment and they are a lot of work in the beginning with training etc, so I've decided I want a bunny. I desperately want something cuddly to take care and a rabbit is perfect. I have made it clear to Ali I want a bunny and I"m hoping maybe he'll get it for me for Christmas...otherwise it will still be about 2 months until I can save enough extra money for the cage and everything the bunny needs. Sad it would take that long isn't it!
Also I've been thinking about bangs...I would like opinions...who thinks I'd look good with bangs? I've been straightening my hair, but even with some curl they might be okay..right?!?!
I am also going to start making my own jewelry!!!!! I'm so pumped (Gosh remember when that word used to be cooler :) I got the idea while shopping with my mom after Thanksgiving. So much jewelry is way over priced and not that hard to make. I"m going to go into Manahattan in the next couple weeks and go to a beads store to try to buy everything I need to get started. I'm just hoping things won't be outrageously expensive, otherwise I may wait until I'm home for Christmas and buy it all in Indiana!
Also here is a little quiz that I found on a friends blog and thought was fun :)
Sitting: In my office at my messy desk.
Smelling: My own perfume..there's still a small hint of it :)
Listening: to the traffic outside my office window and the kids talking in the hallway.
Drinking: nothing but really wishing I had some coffee. I gave it up because coffee seems to always make me sick...but I'm thinking of splurging and getting some on my way to my 7pm class! Hey you gotta stay awake some how!
Reading: The Commercialization fo Intimate Life by Arlie Hochschild. Great Sociologist. Great book. Read it.
Loving: That I get to go back to Indiana in less than 3 weeks.
Dreading Writing 2 more looonnngg papers and taking a stats test in the next 2 weeks.
Eagerly: Waiting for it to be 6:34 so that I can clock out of work!
Worrying: About all the loans I'm racking up.
Wishing: I'd get to see some snow soon.
Praying: My stress level will decrease after December 18th when I turn in my last paper for school.
Grateful: I can take off my uncomfortable work pants soon! hahaha
Sharing: my thoughts ;)
Ok all...back to work :)
Tuesday, December 2, 2008
Insanity
So I have been trying to get a blog up for about the last week and a half, it's just been so hectic I really haven't had time to sit and write...although a lot has been going on!
This last weekend I of course went home for Thanksgiving. It was a much needed break from school, work, and New York in general. I've decided though that going home is hard though. I train myself out here in New York. I prepare myself to be tough and aggressive, to deal with the traffic, everything that's overpriced, the fast pace, the rough and rude people...everything...I prepare myself for it all...and then I go home. When I go home all this preparation disappears. Everything is easy and CALM again. I don't feel stress and anxiety. I feel comfortable and like everything will be okay. I don't feel like I have to anticipate anything. I don't have to prepare, due to the anticipation of a rude person, or a traffic jam, or a cost I can't afford. There's no extra preparations in Indiana...I just live.
Then I come back to New York and I experience shock all over again and have to adjust again. Once I'm in New York for a little while I can get myself used to everything (or at least numb myself to it) and feel like I get myself trained enough to deal...and then I go home and lose it all, then when I come back i'm a basket case for the next week. That's the stage I'm in right now.
Let me explain the difference with examples though my friends...
While I was home for Thanksgiving I spent all my time with family. On Wednesday I met my best friend and we had dinner and a movie...there was no need to rush. We were able to get to the movie when it started, no problems, no worries about traffic being bad or a long line.
Thanksgiving I spent at my grandparents house with my dad's side of the family. It was a great day, but very sad. I feel a lot of guilt being so far from my grandparents right now. My grandpa is not in good health and it scares me. I am scared to my core that something will happen before I can move back home. I have learned my lesson in appreciating your family while you have them near you. I regret more than anything that I did not visit my grandparents more often when I had the chance. This reason alone made it hard to come back to New York. I knwow that I have to finish school, but it was hard being home and picturing how great it would be to see my grandparents frequently and spend family nights together. It makes me breakdown just thinking about it. I can't help but feel I'm missing out on time with my family.
On Friday mom and I went shopping. Now neither me or mom does crowds, however this would be our only time to go Christmas shopping together...so it was then or never. Surprisingly it was fine though. It was better than a normal day of shopping in New York!!! Now that says something!!! Everyone was soooo friendly too. I was in shock all day that all of the cashiers ands sales people were friendly and courteous. Our waitress was even friendly. So much to the point that it was annoying mom but I was soaking every ounce of it up my friends!!! Even the woman at Panera was great! At Panera they took a little extra time to make my tea and the woman making it apologized and brought me my tea personally!!!!!!! This DOES NOT happen in New York. Let me just tell you what would happen in New York. The woman in New York would take even longer to make it, she'd set it on the counter and be annoyed that I wasn't standing there to take it off her counter. Then if I didn't come get it fast enough she'd YELL a chai latte is ready :) This people, is the difference.
Saturday I spent another day with family, my mom's side. We went out to dinner and then went back to our house and played Catch Phrase. This is the funnest game!!
I have decided that I love games and I am going to force friends and family to play games any chance I can. I even had mom buy me dominos and Fact or Crap for me for Christmas. I also bought myself Phase 10 recently...another great one my friends.
Anyways after my wonderful time at home, full of calmness and relaxation, I had to head back to New York. When I left for home last Wednesday it only took me a little over 11 hours to get home...so I figured about 11 hours to get back to New York. This was my big mistake. I had already let me guard down and forgotten, you DON'T make that kind of assumption with a city like New York.
Anyways, I left Indiana at 7am and thought I'd be back to New York by no later than 6:30pm, which isn't a bad time. So I start my drive and got through Indiana and Ohio with no problems. Then I hit Pennsylvania. This is were the traffic begins! First I hit horrible traffic because the weather wasn't great and so cars were driving extra slow...so I drove at about 10mph for about 45mins to an hour. I got stuck twice in Pennsylvania with this bad traffic. This added on extra time right away. I then got to New Jersey and shockingly got thru NJ with no problems..this is a huge shocker since NJ can be just as bad as New York. Then I get to New York. Now at this point I've already tacked on about 2 extra hours. It's about 8pm. I'm exhausted from sitting in extra traffic and the stress of driving by myself in general. As I'm getting to New York the traffic becomes my worst nightmare. There are signs everywhere warning of 60-75 minutes delays just to get over bridges!!! This is a major traffic jam people. So for me to get all the way to my apartment would have taken AT LEAST another 2 hours! So I chose Staten Island instead. I decided I'd stay at Ali's just to get out of my car and be done with the drive. Even this option was not that great though. To get across the Outer Bridge took 45 minutes...this bridge is less than a mile long people! No matter what I was going to have to cross a bridge but believe it or not, Staten Island was the closest and shortest option.
Then my Monday started....
Monday I had to be to work by 7:45 because I have to leave early since I have class at 4:40. I got to work at 8:20.
I was also completely exhausted because although I didn't get to work on time my alarm was still going off starting at 6:15. Even my boss told me I looked out of it.
I instantly dealt with someone nasty at work as well. I had to call a social services agency and the woman I got on the phone will just be called Ms McNasty. Due to my already very tired, and not excited to be back in New York City self, I decided to hang up on Ms McNasty. May not have been the best idea but I couldn't do it. I couldn't go from the pleasantness of Indiana to the harshness of New York that quickly...I just couldn't brush it off and make that adjustment right away...my guard went down too much while I was in Indiana. So then I sat at work and cried for a while. I cried due to my insane level of homesickness and overwhelming desire to just pack up and go home, to forget school and everything else... Obviously I later had a more sane moment, knowing I had to finish school and not let a stupid city get the best of me...or let all the Ms McNasty's make me cry.
For my lunch hour at work I ended up going to school to complete my homework that I couldn't do earlier because I dont' have the computer software....so this means that I didn't get lunch.
I then got back to work and had to leave a few hours later to go back to school.
I went to school with no problems and came home but than had a realization.
I lost my passport.
I discovered this because I have some paperwork that I need to fill out for school and to provide identification I can show my passport as an option. So Monday night I'm looking for it and I can't find it anywhere! So it's 9pm at night. I'm hungry, exhausted, and experiencing a rudeness shock all over again and then I realize I've lost a very important piece of identification. I looked everywhere I could think of and decided it was a lost cause.
I just went to bed.
Thank God I woke up today feeling much more rested!! I felt a little more able to cope with this crazy city that I live it. I went to work and was able to get through the day with no craziness. I then get home and realize...hmmmm...I don't know where my camera is either. I become hysterical. I search the apartment for like 30minutes trying to now find my passport and camera. I call my sister, Ali, and my parents leaving them messages telling them there's a crisis...Sarah's lost her camera and passport. Ali is the only one that answers the phone. I cry to him for a while and decide that I need to just go take a hot shower and try to not think about this for a while. Before I get in I decide to take my inhalor...all this anxiety I can't freakin' breath. As I set my inhalor down I look at my purse sitting at my feet and notice a zipper on the back of my purse....and then I almost shit myself. I open the zipper pocket and there's my camera and passport. I had purposely put them there so that no one could see them in my very loose, often open purse.
Please tell me that somebody else has put things in a place you think no one else will find and then you yourself forgets that special place you put them?!??!?
What a day. What a week. I'm still glad I got to go home. I have to get these little tastes of home to ground myself and remember that life here is a rarity and most Americans do not live this way. If only New Yorker's would catch on......
This last weekend I of course went home for Thanksgiving. It was a much needed break from school, work, and New York in general. I've decided though that going home is hard though. I train myself out here in New York. I prepare myself to be tough and aggressive, to deal with the traffic, everything that's overpriced, the fast pace, the rough and rude people...everything...I prepare myself for it all...and then I go home. When I go home all this preparation disappears. Everything is easy and CALM again. I don't feel stress and anxiety. I feel comfortable and like everything will be okay. I don't feel like I have to anticipate anything. I don't have to prepare, due to the anticipation of a rude person, or a traffic jam, or a cost I can't afford. There's no extra preparations in Indiana...I just live.
Then I come back to New York and I experience shock all over again and have to adjust again. Once I'm in New York for a little while I can get myself used to everything (or at least numb myself to it) and feel like I get myself trained enough to deal...and then I go home and lose it all, then when I come back i'm a basket case for the next week. That's the stage I'm in right now.
Let me explain the difference with examples though my friends...
While I was home for Thanksgiving I spent all my time with family. On Wednesday I met my best friend and we had dinner and a movie...there was no need to rush. We were able to get to the movie when it started, no problems, no worries about traffic being bad or a long line.
Thanksgiving I spent at my grandparents house with my dad's side of the family. It was a great day, but very sad. I feel a lot of guilt being so far from my grandparents right now. My grandpa is not in good health and it scares me. I am scared to my core that something will happen before I can move back home. I have learned my lesson in appreciating your family while you have them near you. I regret more than anything that I did not visit my grandparents more often when I had the chance. This reason alone made it hard to come back to New York. I knwow that I have to finish school, but it was hard being home and picturing how great it would be to see my grandparents frequently and spend family nights together. It makes me breakdown just thinking about it. I can't help but feel I'm missing out on time with my family.
On Friday mom and I went shopping. Now neither me or mom does crowds, however this would be our only time to go Christmas shopping together...so it was then or never. Surprisingly it was fine though. It was better than a normal day of shopping in New York!!! Now that says something!!! Everyone was soooo friendly too. I was in shock all day that all of the cashiers ands sales people were friendly and courteous. Our waitress was even friendly. So much to the point that it was annoying mom but I was soaking every ounce of it up my friends!!! Even the woman at Panera was great! At Panera they took a little extra time to make my tea and the woman making it apologized and brought me my tea personally!!!!!!! This DOES NOT happen in New York. Let me just tell you what would happen in New York. The woman in New York would take even longer to make it, she'd set it on the counter and be annoyed that I wasn't standing there to take it off her counter. Then if I didn't come get it fast enough she'd YELL a chai latte is ready :) This people, is the difference.
Saturday I spent another day with family, my mom's side. We went out to dinner and then went back to our house and played Catch Phrase. This is the funnest game!!
I have decided that I love games and I am going to force friends and family to play games any chance I can. I even had mom buy me dominos and Fact or Crap for me for Christmas. I also bought myself Phase 10 recently...another great one my friends.
Anyways after my wonderful time at home, full of calmness and relaxation, I had to head back to New York. When I left for home last Wednesday it only took me a little over 11 hours to get home...so I figured about 11 hours to get back to New York. This was my big mistake. I had already let me guard down and forgotten, you DON'T make that kind of assumption with a city like New York.
Anyways, I left Indiana at 7am and thought I'd be back to New York by no later than 6:30pm, which isn't a bad time. So I start my drive and got through Indiana and Ohio with no problems. Then I hit Pennsylvania. This is were the traffic begins! First I hit horrible traffic because the weather wasn't great and so cars were driving extra slow...so I drove at about 10mph for about 45mins to an hour. I got stuck twice in Pennsylvania with this bad traffic. This added on extra time right away. I then got to New Jersey and shockingly got thru NJ with no problems..this is a huge shocker since NJ can be just as bad as New York. Then I get to New York. Now at this point I've already tacked on about 2 extra hours. It's about 8pm. I'm exhausted from sitting in extra traffic and the stress of driving by myself in general. As I'm getting to New York the traffic becomes my worst nightmare. There are signs everywhere warning of 60-75 minutes delays just to get over bridges!!! This is a major traffic jam people. So for me to get all the way to my apartment would have taken AT LEAST another 2 hours! So I chose Staten Island instead. I decided I'd stay at Ali's just to get out of my car and be done with the drive. Even this option was not that great though. To get across the Outer Bridge took 45 minutes...this bridge is less than a mile long people! No matter what I was going to have to cross a bridge but believe it or not, Staten Island was the closest and shortest option.
Then my Monday started....
Monday I had to be to work by 7:45 because I have to leave early since I have class at 4:40. I got to work at 8:20.
I was also completely exhausted because although I didn't get to work on time my alarm was still going off starting at 6:15. Even my boss told me I looked out of it.
I instantly dealt with someone nasty at work as well. I had to call a social services agency and the woman I got on the phone will just be called Ms McNasty. Due to my already very tired, and not excited to be back in New York City self, I decided to hang up on Ms McNasty. May not have been the best idea but I couldn't do it. I couldn't go from the pleasantness of Indiana to the harshness of New York that quickly...I just couldn't brush it off and make that adjustment right away...my guard went down too much while I was in Indiana. So then I sat at work and cried for a while. I cried due to my insane level of homesickness and overwhelming desire to just pack up and go home, to forget school and everything else... Obviously I later had a more sane moment, knowing I had to finish school and not let a stupid city get the best of me...or let all the Ms McNasty's make me cry.
For my lunch hour at work I ended up going to school to complete my homework that I couldn't do earlier because I dont' have the computer software....so this means that I didn't get lunch.
I then got back to work and had to leave a few hours later to go back to school.
I went to school with no problems and came home but than had a realization.
I lost my passport.
I discovered this because I have some paperwork that I need to fill out for school and to provide identification I can show my passport as an option. So Monday night I'm looking for it and I can't find it anywhere! So it's 9pm at night. I'm hungry, exhausted, and experiencing a rudeness shock all over again and then I realize I've lost a very important piece of identification. I looked everywhere I could think of and decided it was a lost cause.
I just went to bed.
Thank God I woke up today feeling much more rested!! I felt a little more able to cope with this crazy city that I live it. I went to work and was able to get through the day with no craziness. I then get home and realize...hmmmm...I don't know where my camera is either. I become hysterical. I search the apartment for like 30minutes trying to now find my passport and camera. I call my sister, Ali, and my parents leaving them messages telling them there's a crisis...Sarah's lost her camera and passport. Ali is the only one that answers the phone. I cry to him for a while and decide that I need to just go take a hot shower and try to not think about this for a while. Before I get in I decide to take my inhalor...all this anxiety I can't freakin' breath. As I set my inhalor down I look at my purse sitting at my feet and notice a zipper on the back of my purse....and then I almost shit myself. I open the zipper pocket and there's my camera and passport. I had purposely put them there so that no one could see them in my very loose, often open purse.
Please tell me that somebody else has put things in a place you think no one else will find and then you yourself forgets that special place you put them?!??!?
What a day. What a week. I'm still glad I got to go home. I have to get these little tastes of home to ground myself and remember that life here is a rarity and most Americans do not live this way. If only New Yorker's would catch on......
Friday, November 21, 2008
FYI I can't see demons
Hola Familia y Amigos,
So I totally put a post up on Tuesday of this week and somehow it didn't show up! Too bad for you all though cuz I'm not typing it again!
Anywho, thank God it's friday friends cuz it's been a lonnnggg week! I had a 20 page paper due this Thursday and I actually had to take off of work on Thursday to finish it because I was so behind! Lesson learned = don't procrastinate! The problem is I've always been a procrastinator and swear I don't know how to finish something early!! I like to tell myself I just work better under pressure :) (PS that's complete bullshit, I'm really just lazy!).
Anyways, this week has also been sucky at work. My last blog was about all the drama at work and my realization that jobs aren't hard because of the job but because of the people you work with.
I've been dealing with people back stabbing, gossiping, misleading, lying, finger pointing, blaming, etc etc etc and I'm very over it. It's so disappointing because I truly do enjoy working with a lot (not all :), but a lot of my clients and it's frustrating when your job is stressful due to co-workers not clients.
I must say though that today was an interesting day at work. I have a family that I work with that I really love. There's a mom who's about 34 with a teenage daughter and son and a younger daughter. They are a pretty easy family to work with...except for one thing...they believe that there are demons in their window. Now they brought this up to me almost a month ago and at first I was like "oh my God are they going crazy?!?!?" I really didn't know what to say or do but luckily a social worker at the shelter met with them a few times and told me he had taken care of it...at least that's what he said!
I met with them again today and they insisted the demons were still in the window and that I'd be able to see them. I HIGHLY doubted this but they desperately wanted me to see them so when I was leaving work today I agreed to come to their room and take a look.
People, I'm not very superstitious and don't really beleive in ghosts. I honestly try to believe angels/ghosts/etc but I just can't really. However, this family really wanted me to see their demons.
I mean shit we've already talked about what they look like, their moods, and how often they visit!
So I go in the room trying to will myself into seeing something...trying to convince myself this could be real...yeah that didn't happen. I was literally standing in the middle of my clients unit saying "yeah, oh, I see it", "mm hmm that's definiltey a head", "yeah I see that puppy, uhhuh"
I was the biggest liar in that room but I did not have the heart to tell them I saw NOTHING!
Another staff person, inappropriately, called them crazy and they were very hurt by this!
So this weekend I will be spending some time, no joke, looking up rituals that can be done to keep the demons calm and live in harmony with the family.
This is my job people, helping people live in harmony with their demons, literally and symbolicly.
So I totally put a post up on Tuesday of this week and somehow it didn't show up! Too bad for you all though cuz I'm not typing it again!
Anywho, thank God it's friday friends cuz it's been a lonnnggg week! I had a 20 page paper due this Thursday and I actually had to take off of work on Thursday to finish it because I was so behind! Lesson learned = don't procrastinate! The problem is I've always been a procrastinator and swear I don't know how to finish something early!! I like to tell myself I just work better under pressure :) (PS that's complete bullshit, I'm really just lazy!).
Anyways, this week has also been sucky at work. My last blog was about all the drama at work and my realization that jobs aren't hard because of the job but because of the people you work with.
I've been dealing with people back stabbing, gossiping, misleading, lying, finger pointing, blaming, etc etc etc and I'm very over it. It's so disappointing because I truly do enjoy working with a lot (not all :), but a lot of my clients and it's frustrating when your job is stressful due to co-workers not clients.
I must say though that today was an interesting day at work. I have a family that I work with that I really love. There's a mom who's about 34 with a teenage daughter and son and a younger daughter. They are a pretty easy family to work with...except for one thing...they believe that there are demons in their window. Now they brought this up to me almost a month ago and at first I was like "oh my God are they going crazy?!?!?" I really didn't know what to say or do but luckily a social worker at the shelter met with them a few times and told me he had taken care of it...at least that's what he said!
I met with them again today and they insisted the demons were still in the window and that I'd be able to see them. I HIGHLY doubted this but they desperately wanted me to see them so when I was leaving work today I agreed to come to their room and take a look.
People, I'm not very superstitious and don't really beleive in ghosts. I honestly try to believe angels/ghosts/etc but I just can't really. However, this family really wanted me to see their demons.
I mean shit we've already talked about what they look like, their moods, and how often they visit!
So I go in the room trying to will myself into seeing something...trying to convince myself this could be real...yeah that didn't happen. I was literally standing in the middle of my clients unit saying "yeah, oh, I see it", "mm hmm that's definiltey a head", "yeah I see that puppy, uhhuh"
I was the biggest liar in that room but I did not have the heart to tell them I saw NOTHING!
Another staff person, inappropriately, called them crazy and they were very hurt by this!
So this weekend I will be spending some time, no joke, looking up rituals that can be done to keep the demons calm and live in harmony with the family.
This is my job people, helping people live in harmony with their demons, literally and symbolicly.
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
Two in One
(NOTE** I wrote this blog on Tuesday but somehow it didn't get posted...so here it is a day late!)
Now that I was able to get thoughts off my chest I'm able to blog about the lighter, crazier events of my life :)
This weekend my mom came to see me which made me very happy! I always welcome visitors ;)
Mom aka "Boo", came in on Friday and left yesterday morning. We spent the weekend shopping and eating :) Friday we stayed around my apartment and went to a local Italian restaurant, named Fiore.
Saturday I woke up and in my still sleepy state pulled a muscle in my neck and swore I was gonna become paralyzed it hurt so bad!! I swear I could not turn my neck to the left even if my life depended on it! I took 4 Ibuprofen and it did nothing! And in my book you know you're hurt if Ibuprofen doesn't do anything for you! Ibuprofen and Benadryl are like my best friends and if they don't work..you and me both are in trouble!
After getting over my fear of being paralyzed we spent the day shopping for our still sparse apartment and eating again, then met Ali in the city to eat at Pastis, a french bistro.
We took the train into the city for dinner Saturday and I realized how good I have gotten with public transportation after using it with Boo, who of course never needs to use public transportation in Indiana!
While using the subway (which is different than the train), of course we saw the usual police officers harassing the drunk, homeless man peeing in the subway station.
I always think when I see these scenes it seems so inhumane. I can't imagine God really appreciates us yelling at another human being for needing warmth in the winter and staying in the only warm PUBLIC space that he can find. Yes God may not agree with the drinking and the peeing, but I think he'd look past it and agree he is entitled to a warm place.
Dinner at Pastis was very good and pretty much my first french food experience. Of course the menu was half french so I was guessing what a lot of things were, Boo and Ali were no help either! We all knew "Oui" and that was it! hahaha
Sunday we spent the day putting together all the things we bought on Saturday and eating some more. We did Indian and NY style pizza on Sunday.
It was a great weekend. Fun. Relaxing. And felt a little more like home having my mom with me.
Sunday night became a little crazy though because I didn't do any of my homework for Monday during the weekend. So Sunday I was rushing to get my statistics hw done and my cultural studies work done. I got most of my work done and got to bed around midnight to wake up again at about 4:45 to take Boo to the airport.
On a Monday Morning NY you never know when you'll hit traffic so we had to leave by 5:30. Luckily I got Boo to the airport by 6 and instead of going back home I had to go to Starbucks..the only place I could think of that would be open at 6am!...and finish up some remaining homework and then go to the lab at school at 7 to finish some hw using software that I'm too poor to buy and put on my own computer.
Finally at 8 I headed to work and was very unproductive at work. I really had one of those days where I thought...damn I'm a bad worker...I couldn't focus or get anything accomplished...now you may be thinking I wasn't a good worker today either because I blogged at work..but hey...you can only improve so much in day.
I also had to write a paper at work on Monday because brilliant me left it on my computer at home and didn't email it to myself. I didn't have time to go back home to get it before class, so I just sat and retyped it! It only had to be a page and luckily it was something I'm opinionated about so I rewrote it quickly!
I had to leave work at 4 on Monday and go to my classes which would get over at 9. I went to my first class and got out a little early so grabbed some much needed hot chocolate at the library...now you may be wondering why I'm bothering to tell you this...but there's a reason.
Obviously I was tired by the time I got to my second class that starts at 7pm, after being up since 4:30am!
Now I was sitting in my class, taking to classmates, waiting for it to start when another girl I know sat down behind me. As I turn around to talk to her, Sarah forgets that our desktops lift up...I blame the tiredness.... and I turn, causing my desk to lift, while simultaneously knocking my practically full, and very needed, hot chocolate ALL OVER the wall and floor. Thank God that I sat next to the wall today..which I normally don't do...or the person next to me would have been a very unhappy, chocolaty person!
The worst part was the people I was sitting around are in my other classes so we know each other and they all start turning around pointing out my spill to me!!!
Well DUH I know I spilled it!!! Hello! I have to go the whole class now without my hot chocolate, and wasted $3!!!
I hurried and went to the bathroom for a huge roll of paper towels and swear I went through half of it. After trying to clean it up I decided I would just leave it and get it after class...bad idea.
The chocolate got...hard, I guess you could say, and the only way to clean it up then was with water...which I was not about to go get!
So I did the best I could to clean it but definitely left a brown mess for the maintenance men...oops!
My day was over though thank the lord and I could go home! I got home and didn't even eat dinner! I just sat mindlessly on the couch for like 30min watching TV, took a shower and passed out!
Now you know I'm tired if I don't care that I'm going to bed hungry!!!!
Now that I was able to get thoughts off my chest I'm able to blog about the lighter, crazier events of my life :)
This weekend my mom came to see me which made me very happy! I always welcome visitors ;)
Mom aka "Boo", came in on Friday and left yesterday morning. We spent the weekend shopping and eating :) Friday we stayed around my apartment and went to a local Italian restaurant, named Fiore.
Saturday I woke up and in my still sleepy state pulled a muscle in my neck and swore I was gonna become paralyzed it hurt so bad!! I swear I could not turn my neck to the left even if my life depended on it! I took 4 Ibuprofen and it did nothing! And in my book you know you're hurt if Ibuprofen doesn't do anything for you! Ibuprofen and Benadryl are like my best friends and if they don't work..you and me both are in trouble!
After getting over my fear of being paralyzed we spent the day shopping for our still sparse apartment and eating again, then met Ali in the city to eat at Pastis, a french bistro.
We took the train into the city for dinner Saturday and I realized how good I have gotten with public transportation after using it with Boo, who of course never needs to use public transportation in Indiana!
While using the subway (which is different than the train), of course we saw the usual police officers harassing the drunk, homeless man peeing in the subway station.
I always think when I see these scenes it seems so inhumane. I can't imagine God really appreciates us yelling at another human being for needing warmth in the winter and staying in the only warm PUBLIC space that he can find. Yes God may not agree with the drinking and the peeing, but I think he'd look past it and agree he is entitled to a warm place.
Dinner at Pastis was very good and pretty much my first french food experience. Of course the menu was half french so I was guessing what a lot of things were, Boo and Ali were no help either! We all knew "Oui" and that was it! hahaha
Sunday we spent the day putting together all the things we bought on Saturday and eating some more. We did Indian and NY style pizza on Sunday.
It was a great weekend. Fun. Relaxing. And felt a little more like home having my mom with me.
Sunday night became a little crazy though because I didn't do any of my homework for Monday during the weekend. So Sunday I was rushing to get my statistics hw done and my cultural studies work done. I got most of my work done and got to bed around midnight to wake up again at about 4:45 to take Boo to the airport.
On a Monday Morning NY you never know when you'll hit traffic so we had to leave by 5:30. Luckily I got Boo to the airport by 6 and instead of going back home I had to go to Starbucks..the only place I could think of that would be open at 6am!...and finish up some remaining homework and then go to the lab at school at 7 to finish some hw using software that I'm too poor to buy and put on my own computer.
Finally at 8 I headed to work and was very unproductive at work. I really had one of those days where I thought...damn I'm a bad worker...I couldn't focus or get anything accomplished...now you may be thinking I wasn't a good worker today either because I blogged at work..but hey...you can only improve so much in day.
I also had to write a paper at work on Monday because brilliant me left it on my computer at home and didn't email it to myself. I didn't have time to go back home to get it before class, so I just sat and retyped it! It only had to be a page and luckily it was something I'm opinionated about so I rewrote it quickly!
I had to leave work at 4 on Monday and go to my classes which would get over at 9. I went to my first class and got out a little early so grabbed some much needed hot chocolate at the library...now you may be wondering why I'm bothering to tell you this...but there's a reason.
Obviously I was tired by the time I got to my second class that starts at 7pm, after being up since 4:30am!
Now I was sitting in my class, taking to classmates, waiting for it to start when another girl I know sat down behind me. As I turn around to talk to her, Sarah forgets that our desktops lift up...I blame the tiredness.... and I turn, causing my desk to lift, while simultaneously knocking my practically full, and very needed, hot chocolate ALL OVER the wall and floor. Thank God that I sat next to the wall today..which I normally don't do...or the person next to me would have been a very unhappy, chocolaty person!
The worst part was the people I was sitting around are in my other classes so we know each other and they all start turning around pointing out my spill to me!!!
Well DUH I know I spilled it!!! Hello! I have to go the whole class now without my hot chocolate, and wasted $3!!!
I hurried and went to the bathroom for a huge roll of paper towels and swear I went through half of it. After trying to clean it up I decided I would just leave it and get it after class...bad idea.
The chocolate got...hard, I guess you could say, and the only way to clean it up then was with water...which I was not about to go get!
So I did the best I could to clean it but definitely left a brown mess for the maintenance men...oops!
My day was over though thank the lord and I could go home! I got home and didn't even eat dinner! I just sat mindlessly on the couch for like 30min watching TV, took a shower and passed out!
Now you know I'm tired if I don't care that I'm going to bed hungry!!!!
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